Dating Yourself : Teaches Others How To Treat You
If you’re not treating yourself well & prioritizing you - what message are you sending to others in your life?
If there is one thing we all can agree on - it’s that living in this dumpster fire is not easy. It’s overwhelming and fast-paced, and we can tend to really forget about ourselves. Plus we have the internet, people in our lives, and social media telling us what we should like or should be into at a given moment of the day. It’s a lot.
We tend to put ourselves on the back burner quite frequently and while we are running our lives with what everyone else wants to do or what they like - we don’t make time to do what we like. This leads to things like burnout and emotional exhaustion. It makes us detached and has us feeling a “failing to thrive”. We might not even know what we “like” to do anymore. So when people ask us “What would make you happy right now?” - the response in your head is usually “Well if I knew that I wouldn’t be having this conversation right now…would we Sharon?!?!”
This was the case for me a few years ago ( I go deeper into it on this podcast episode) and what I found was that “Dating Myself” was what I really needed. Plus therapy and some other things. But this is about this.
My friend J.F. sent me the book The Artist’s Way and with it in hand, I set out to figure out new interests, while remembering the old things I like that I let slip away. I also had to get real with myself and let go of the things that really weren’t bringing me any joy anymore but I was holding onto “just because…”
I know what you're thinking - "What? Date myself? Isn't that just being alone?". Yes…sort of.. But hear me out. Dating yourself is all about prioritizing your own needs and figuring out what you want to do. Not going along with the crowd. It's about cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself, just like you would with a partner, a friend, or anyone you have a close relationship with.
So why should you date yourself?
Self-discovery: Dating yourself allows you to explore your interests, values, and desires. You can get out of your comfort zone, try new things, do what excites you, and be fully present in it.
Self-care: When you date yourself, you prioritize your own needs and take care of yourself. You can take yourself on dates, buy yourself gifts, or do things that make you feel good. This helps you learn how to speak your own language and then gives you the confidence to let those in your life know how to treat you.
Independence: When you learn to enjoy your own company, you become more independent. You don't need someone else to fill your cup, or bring you joy - you do it for yourself.
Boundaries: When you stop relying on others for your happiness you aren’t afraid to say “you don’t want to do something” or say “ no”.
So if you’re thinking - Ok this sounds great…but give me some ideas here Donna. Here are some things I’ve made a part of my “Date Myself” Ritual.
Take yourself on a date: just like you would go out of your way to plan a date for a partner or friends visiting from out of town - do it for yourself. I know pretty simple. But…see how hard it is to follow thru on that.
Splurge on Yourself: a new outfit, a new piece of jewelry, that piece of luggage for your travels, a trip, a book, a haircut, a day at the spa - whatever you want.
Set Aside a Block of Time Daily or Weekly For JUST YOU - just like you spend time on social, or texting or FaceTiming friends - take a chunk of that time and be social with yourself.
Get a hobby: Take up a new hobby or activity - Use this time to explore your interests and learn new skills.
Travel solo: One of the best things I ever did was start solo traveling - it can be a weekend, a day trip, or a week alone.
Journal: Start with simple things like a brain dump, or daily gratitude..from there you can dig deeper. Journaling and reviewing my thoughts, emotions, and ideas has helped me so much. I even took the journal/planner I made for myself and put it in the Donas Shop.
Vision Boarding: if you know me, you know I love vision boarding. Just like we ask our friends and children their wildest dreams we should ask ourselves. Vision boarding is a great way to do what.
If you want more of this …listen to the podcast below or get some more ideas and my personal shares in the video